Sunday, September 20, 2009

Round Boy, Square Window

You should really take the hint when you can’t unlock the front door of your house with a key alone.  When you need a pair of pliers and two people pushing the door frame in to open the door, it is no longer the simple act of opening the door, it is an extreme sports event.  I don’t think we’d score high in the technical, but in style, we are never lacking.

Who is this “we” you ask?  That would be my mother and I.  Imagine Lorelai and Rory Gilmore from Gilmore Girls, but with a larger age difference. 

Of course the door won’t open.  When it is ten at night, extremely dark, you’ve got a puppy, several textbooks, a few shopping bags, and two Starbucks beverages, it is the perfect time to get locked out of the house.  Let me tell you, hot beverages are hard enough to carry on their own, without working on the synchronized door-opening.

Segue to a massive ladder leaning against the side of the house.  My mom tries to lean the ladder against the house, but it’s too long so that it is almost horizontal.  Not exactly safe.  Who would ever think that you would need ladders of different lengths.  I thought they were one-size fits all.  Apparently not.  Certainly I was not going to climb along, not up, along the ladder to climb into the house.

All that we were missing were black clothes and some masks to look like burglars.  It is not comforting to know that when you have a massive ladder leaning against your house that no one bothers to call the police.  So if someone had actually been breaking into the house we would have been seriously lacking contents of any kind.   

Cut to my brother coming to the house at almost midnight with his friend offering to help us get into the house.  It’s nice to have reinforcements.  Unfortunately, tiny window, not so tiny guy.  After a few tries, he makes it up the horizontal ladder and decides to go head first through the window.    Cut to legs waving outside the window of the house.  Not the most graceful way to get into a house.  He definitely gets points for difficulty, though and tackling the challenge “head first,” literally.

Now the thought of having a mini video camera seems like a good idea.  The evening is a popular YouTube video in the making.  I can just see the title now:  Fitting a round boy through a square window. 

Round boy, square window. 

Catchy, right?